Sorry, we've been a bit slack over the last week or so. We're sorry, we were just a bit caught up with the whole 'armed men breaking into our office and stealing all our computers' thing. No bother though, we're back up to speed now - complete with a shiny new Mac Mini - and to celebrate that fact we've decided to bring you some retro goodness this week with a selection of classic Mercedes that are ripe for some summer motoring, gangster-style!
You may be wondering why we've opted for Mercedes over anything else. Well, it's simple: we have one, see.
We really do practice what we preach!
That's not all, we've also opted for the three-pointed star because they are awesome, well built, cool and more plentiful than you might think within the realms of our £2k budget. We're not talking about rusty 1998 E-Class ex-taxis here either. No sir, we're waxing lyrical about some seriously cool chrome-laden beasts from the 70s ad 80s. Real pimp-machines, if pimping is your thing. If it is your thing, stop doing it, it's naughty. Anyway, on with the cars...
This is what we've got and quite frankly, they're brilliant. Yes, it uses more fuel than an oil-rig fire and yes, it's a bit of a pig to park and yes, it's only fractionally smaller than the HMS Ark Royal but sod it, it looks fantastic. It's a bit like an automotive Nigella Lawson - it's bigger than you'd normally go for, but you just can't stop looking at it. Sadly though, as the W126 is a car it's a little short on filthy innuendos.
Driven mostly by baddies in 80s, guitar heavy action films or dictators of third-world countries, the W126 was a winner from the off. It was huge but even in lowly 3.0 guise it was no slouch. The flagship 560SEL - complete with ginormous 260bhp V8 - was even quicker, and for a big old bus they didn't handle too badly either. In fact it really was a rewarding tank to drive, considering its size.
So, buy one. Do it, do it now.
£1895!!! Just look at it...
...if you've not bought one yet, in light of seeing that, we're going to come to your house and slap you round the face with a wet cat. Just don't do the same to us when it comes to filling the bugger up!
For the gangster on a budget there's the W123. Built just as well as the W126, the W123 was the C-Class of its time, the family Merc for middle-management Dad if you will. It was still a great cruiser though, as well as being infinitely cooler than anything else the office car park. Even the estate was an attention grabber with all its chrome.
They're tough, too. We had one a few years back which had amassed 250k during its life but it still fired up every time and pulled like a train, though. Look after a W123 and it really will be all the car you could ever need; it'll get you anywhere you need to be and it'll get you home no matter what's thrown at it...unless someone throws a truck at it, or an elephant, a box of springer spaniels. Er...sorry, yes, the cars.
Here, as ever, is proof that you can roll like a dictator for not a lot of money...
If you can find one though, we'd opt for the coupe. Throw another couple of grand at it and you realy would be ballin' or stylin'. Whatever it is the kids say.
Bit of an odd one this because, like a lot of modern BMWs, the C107 was built for a demographic that didn't really exist. It was a confused coupe/GT/sports car that didn't really know what it wanted to be. Plus, it was bit ugly too (sorry Mr. Bevis) especially when compared to its much prettier - and convertible - R107 sibling. Still, Mercedes plodded on and attempted to sell them to anyone who would listen to their pitch, which wasn't many. Amazingly though, it was built from 1971 through to 1989, such was the persistance of Mercedes to inflict it upon the world. The ones that were sold were soon traded in for R107s, mainly due to the owners looking at their C107s and wondering what the hell the bloke at Mercedes had talked them into buying.
It's obscurity within the Mercedes family is a good thing though, as it means there are plenty of cheapies about, and thanks to their age they're now cool - a 70s Merc coupe will always be cool. Get one with a V8 and you'll become the coolest person on your street, and the most hated each time you fire it up at 8am!
They're versatile too, or just confused. A few of them entered into a motorsport forum that makes sense for a low slung, thirsty 'sports' car - rallying. Er, right.
So, there's three old Mercs for your perusal. Yes, they're all heavy on juice, and yes they'll all turn to rust at the mere mention of salt but who cares. Buy a good one and you can ted about like the dictator or CEO you always though your should be. The best bit though, is that no one will know it cost you less than £2k. Oh, and there's just one more thing... there is nothing finer than saying "Mercedes" when someone asks what you drive, even if it is from 1979 and has an interior that smells like a wet badger.