Thursday, 2 June 2011

GUEST BLOG! The Pug 205GTi

Oooooh, check us! We've only gone and got a guest blogger for this update, like we're all swish and important and whatnot. We are fancy-pantsed. Yes, yes we are.

Write us some God-damn words, Bevis!

Actually, we've just asked Mr. Bevis, creator of SSBB and JuicyPips to scribble some knowledge for us because, quite frankly, he's as obsessed with cheap old motors as we are. We like that. We also like the fact that he's a tip-top blogger too, so he should fit in here. Anyway, below you'll find his ramblings about a, er, French car of some kind (look, we never said he had taste). Let us know what you think, if you like him, we'll get him back for more. If you don't, we'll sell him on eBay under 'miscellaneous'. Or we'll just leave him round our nan's, she could use the company.

Anyway, that's enough of that, ON WITH THE BLOG!

The Peugeot 205 GTi

Since its launch in 1984, there’s been a lot of excitable chatter around the Peugeot 205 GTi, and rightly so. Commonly regarded as one of the greatest front-wheel drive cars of all time, it’s at its happiest cocking a rear wheel on a country lane. And anyone who says ‘rubbish, it’s wrong-wheel drive’ has clearly never driven one.

Of course, the mantra of N£2G is ‘All the machinery you didn't know you could get for under £2000’, and you probably aren’t that surprised to find that you can, in fact, quite easily find a 205 GTi for under £2k... but as a guest blogger, I feel at liberty to bend the credo slightly, if only to discuss such a fundamentally important and brilliant car. If you’ve got two large to blow, it should definitely at least be on your longlist.

There’s something that GTi fanboys will always argue about, and it’s a matter never to be fully resolved: 1.6 or 1.9?
 The spritely überhatch was launched with a 1600cc XU lump, but a 1.9 was made available from 1986. The former is regarded by some as the purer iteration, and also supposedly has shorter gearing to get you to 60mph a couple of tenths quicker than its bigger-lunged sibling. (Right. Like you’d notice.) But forget that – the 1.9 has a bigger engine. Bigger is better. It’s a teeny-tiny, wafer-thin Gallic shopping car with a frickin’ 1.9 in it. How cool is that?!

 I’ll tell you what’s even cooler: red carpets. BRIGHT RED CARPETS. How many cars can boast that as a feature? Not many. Driving a GTi is like sneaking into a tart’s handbag. 
It’s also all kinds of awesome.

With God’s own suspension set-up and a wheel on each corner, it’s beautifully easy to place the 205 *exactly* where you want it to be in the twisties – just make sure you get one without power steering for maximum feedback.

Yes, the flimsy switchgear will irritate you immensely. The vacuum-seal on the sunroof will leak rainwater onto your head. The electric windows will probably stop working. If you crash it, there’s no question that you’ll be extravagantly and colourfully pulped. But if you want to fly backwards into a tree and you can’t afford a 911, the 205 GTi is the car to do it in...