Tuesday, 26 July 2011

The Mitsubishi Legnum VR4...

Whip still warm, we just got another tip-top update from our numero uno word-maker, Bevis. It's amazing how he does it really; he has no computer, no light and we only let him eat the toast we don't finish, which would be fine if we didn't love toast so damn much. Still, he seems happy in himself, that's the main thing.

"And you're not having any more toast..."

The chosen car is the Legnum VR4. That's a very fast Mitsubish Galant to you and me. We had a Galant once, it was a 2.0 auto. Possibly the slowest thing we've ever owned. Oh, and a wheel bearing FELL OUT of the bastard. Had we known the Legnum was cheap it would have been a different story, with more points for speeding, no doubt. Ah well, you live and learn. Anyway, that's enough of that. ON WITH THE UPDATE...

The Legnum VR4...

Estate cars have a hard time being cool. My wife has categorically told me that we can never have one, because they’re ‘embarrassing’. I used to pinch my mum’s mkIV Escort estate when I was a teenager because it was good for going to parties – you could fold the rear seats flat(ish) and sleep in the back – but that sort of shizzle won’t fly these days. It’s hatchbacks or three-boxes all the way.

That is one mean looking B&Q car-park regular!

But not all estate cars are embarrassing. The Volvo 850 T5 is a boxy, unassuming stealth weapon (with a Kamm tail, so it should be faster than the saloon, right...?), the Nissan Stagea – which I was going to write this post about, until I entirely failed to find one for under two grand – is basically a Skyline with a massive boot, and the Mitsubishi Legnum... well, that’s very cool indeed.

Take the Galant VR-4, Japan’s 1996 Car of the Year, as a starting point. It’s a sizeable saloon, powered by a 2.5-litre twin-turbo V6 offering 260bhp, featuring a tiptronic ‘box – sequential, like a racing car – and a variety of Evo III/IV/V/VI bits underneath. (An even more muscular 280bhp is available if you go for proper manual gearbox...) Now bolt on a big-ass glasshouse to the rear, so that all your holiday luggage and your bicycles will fit in. How brilliant is that?

A Legnum engine, in a Legnum...obviously

Unlike some other über-estates that shoehorn a massive engine into a junk-in-the-trunk battle-cruiser and expect you to handle the aftermath, Mitsubishi’s boffins have got your back with this one. The undercarriage comes primed with AYC – Active Yaw Control – straight from the Evo series, which is basically an electronically-governed limited-slip differential; a piece of kit designed for no other purpose than to make you drive faster on twisty roads. Thanks, axlenerds!

Oi! Mrs. Bevis! This is awesome, deal with it!

So it’s a proper bona fide sports car, then. But it’s also plush and luxurious enough to keep your missus happy, with its hip-caressing seats, LCD touchscreens and what-have-you. And, to return to the key theme, it’s an estate. You can take your hedgetrimmings to the tip in it, then pop down to Currys and pick up a new dishwasher... and you can do it all at LUDICROUS SPEED!

Silly steering wheel is optional, as in 'do not opt for it'

Want to hear something absurd? There’s one on Auto Trader – freshly serviced, taxed and with a long MOT - for £1200, look!

...and it’s the limited Ralliart edition, meaning that you get an extra 20bhp and Tein suspension.

There’s no way in hell that you’ll find a faster car for the money, and that’s a solid gold fact. Buy it! Buy it now!