Well, actually, you flare-arched, one-colour-only show off, there's an option for people who don't want to spend £10,000 on a 10yr-old Ford. It's an option that carries no RS badge, its engine sports no turbo and its gearbox contains no Quaife differential. It does, however, offer just as much driver satisfaction, just as much exclusivity and just as much fun, all for less than £2000. It goes by the name of the Focus ST170 and it's the sibling that wants to punch the RS in its expensive face. And rightly so - it's a corker.
The Focus set the motoring press alight when it was released back in the late '90s, even with a humble and fuel-hungry 1.6 powering the front wheels. It wasn't the engine that caused the media raucous though, it was the chassis. Even if you bought a poverty-spec 1.4 with manual windows and a coal heater, you still got fully independent suspension and on a family hatch that's a big deal.
That suspension resulted in a car that gripped the road tighter than X-Factor contestants grip stupidity. Like we said earlier; that makes even the hum-drum Focus varients fun to drive. Shove a 2.0 170bhp engine under the bonnet though - complete with 145lb/ft of torque - as well as a six-speed gearbox, and you've got a car that's a huge amount of fun on the twisty stuff. Plus, it only weighs 1200kg in three-door guise, which is pretty light for a modern car full of airbags, computers and other electronic faff.
Okay, so it's no RS, but it's also not £10,000. It's also worth remembering that the ST170 is only 40bhp from the RS, and for £8000 less that's not too shabby.
Inside there's cloth, leather, air-con and even a CD player - it's all very swish. Plus, as it's a Focus, there's more than enough space for you, your kids and all their associated fodder - this really is a practical sports-car for all the family.
So, it's got funky seats, nice alloys, it looks a bit sporty and you can put your kids in the back. WHO CARES? The ST boasts practicality as a bonus, not as a sales factoid. The Focus ST170 doesn't care about your kids or any of your passengers for that matter. All it cares about it rewarding you, the driver. And oh, how it rewards you!
The combination of that engine and that suspension results in one of Ford's finest driver's cars of that era. Every journey in an ST170 is a joy, no matter how mundane the reason for that journey may be. Stick one of these on a glorious, rising, falling and swooping Welsh A-road and you'll be smiling from ear to ear - we guarantee it. In terms of the cars we've splashed over N2G, the ST170 is easily one of the most exciting, and crucially one of the most rewarding to drive. That in itself makes the £2000 well worth spending.
Sorry, this is quite a 'serious' update, but then again we love the ST170 and we're confident you would too, if you bought one. You should, there's no reason not to. Oh, and if you're going to complain about a hatch being too short on space we'd like you to shush your pretty mouth right this instant. Y'see, they made an estate, too...
Go on, off you toddle, you know it's the right thing to do.