Now we know you all like big engines, leather, LOUD NOISES and so on. That said, we tidied our room last night and found our sensible trousers (a lovely corduroy pair in green, no less). We're wearing them now, and while they're a little tight on our gentleman parts, we can't help but feel more sensible. With that comes a Not £2 Grand first...
We're here for you, readers. For all of you, no matter what your needs. All we ask is that you want the most for your £2000, that's all. That said, we've not been there for a select number of you, and that makes us feel ashamed. Yes, we're talking about you, family people. You folks with 'the childs' running around. You folk who need plenty of safe seats for your most loved of little bottoms. You folk who find even a trip to ASDA needs to be planned with near-military precision. You lovely, lovely families.
We've been rubbing cars in your pretty faces, which, while bargainarific, are about as much use to you as a George Foreman grill is to a gazelle. Not today, though. Today we've got a car which is modern, safe, rewarding to drive, cheap to run and not at all too bad to look at, either. Today, you, the driving force behind the financial security of Pampers are being given the Not £2 Grand treatment. You DO NOT have to be stuck in a clapped out, R-reg Megane Scenic, nor a rusty Volvo estate. No, you can be one of the family elite thanks to the clever bods at Ford.
The first generation C Max was already onto a winner, as it was the first car to use the C1 platform, which went on to become the chassis for the second generation Focus - fantastic handling car. Slapping that platform under some slightly taller doors and a slightly higher roof couldn't be a bad thing. It wasn't, as the C Max was adored by the motoring press when it hit the showrooms in 2003 because of its handling.
Of course that wasn't the only feather in its hat. The C Max had clearly been designed by someone who used to work for Ikea, or Dr. Who. The innards were - for a car no bigger in terms of road space than it's hatchback sibling - massive. You'll find at least 34,000,012 cubby holes, drawers, pockets and trays. Perfect for toys, baby essentials, maps, drinks or that sandwich little Davey didn't want (which you'll find three weeks later thanks to the smell).
Up front there's big, comfy seats for Mum and Dad, along with a brilliantly thought out dash, some more cup holders and some buttons that go "bing". In the back, there's plenty of space for three little bundles of joy, including the option to retrofit Isofix fittings for the smallest of those bundles, offering the utmost in safety.
That leads us onto the next bonus of owning a C Max - they're damn safe. The white-coat-wearing bods at Euro NCAP fired one into a concrete wall, stood back for a bit, did a knowing nod and awarded it four out of five stars. The results were particularly pleasing for the children in the car, who would've all been fine. Good news for you, Mum and Dad, should a wall jump out on you.
There's also a big boot, air-con, electric everything, durable trim, traction control (on some models), ABS and more. It's a great family bus for those of us who need seats and safety to be a paramount concern.
Your £2000 will get you a 2003-5 1.8 petrol model (diesels are still pricey), but that's no worry. The petrol engine hauls the C Max along perfectly well, and if you drive it while sporting your sexy, green, corduroy trousers the economy should be respectable.
So, there you go. You family folk are now officially part of the Not £2 Grand fold, and we couldn't be happier!
Right, that was all far too sensible. We're off to put jam in our pockets.